Getting beyond ‘I’m fine’ – improving men’s mental health at work

According to the latest figures from the UK’s Office for National Statistics, men account for around three-quarters of all suicides, with suicide remaining the leading cause of death for men under 50. While awareness of mental health has improved significantly in recent years, these statistics highlight the sobering truth that many men are still struggling in silence.

For employers, this presents both a challenge and an opportunity. Workplaces have become increasingly important spaces for wellbeing conversations, yet many organisations still find it difficult to engage men with mental health support in meaningful ways.

Understanding some of the unique barriers men face can help HR teams and managers create environments where everyone feels able to seek support when they need it.

Why men often struggle to ask for help

Many men grow up receiving messages, both directly and indirectly, about what it means to “be a man”. Common expectations include being strong, self-sufficient, resilient and in control.

While qualities such as resilience and determination can be positive, problems arise when men feel they must always appear strong, regardless of what is happening beneath the surface.

From an early age, boys may learn that showing vulnerability, sadness or fear risks criticism, embarrassment or exclusion. Phrases such as “man up”, “don’t be soft” or “get on with it” can reinforce the idea that difficult emotions should be hidden rather than expressed.

As adults, this can make it harder for men to recognise when they are struggling, talk openly about their feelings or seek support before problems escalate. In workplace settings, this may present as employees who continue working through stress, anxiety or burnout without telling anyone, often until the situation reaches crisis point.

The hidden impact of emotional suppression

One of the less recognised challenges affecting men’s mental health is difficulty identifying and expressing emotions.

Some researchers refer to this as “alexithymia” – a reduced ability to put feelings into words. While it can affect anyone, studies suggest it is more common in men.

This can create significant challenges. If someone cannot easily identify what they are feeling, they may struggle to explain what support they need.

Instead, emotional distress can emerge in other ways, including:

– Irritability and anger
– Withdrawal from colleagues and relationships
– Increased alcohol consumption
– Difficulty concentrating
– Physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension or poor sleep
– Burnout and exhaustion

For managers, this means that poor mental health may not always look like sadness or tears. Sometimes it appears as frustration, disengagement, presenteeism or declining performance.

Recognising these alternative signs is an important part of supporting men’s wellbeing effectively.

Loneliness remains a major issue

Another significant factor affecting men’s mental health is loneliness. Research consistently shows that many men have fewer close friendships than women and are less likely to discuss personal difficulties with friends or family.

While social conversations may happen regularly, deeper discussions about stress, anxiety, relationships or self-doubt are often avoided. This can leave men feeling isolated during difficult periods, even when they appear socially connected on the surface.

The workplace cannot replace personal relationships, but it can play an important role in creating opportunities for genuine connection. Peer support networks, mentoring programmes, wellbeing champions and informal opportunities for conversation can all help reduce feelings of isolation.

Moving beyond stereotypes

It’s important to recognise that supporting men’s mental health is not about suggesting there is something wrong with traditionally masculine traits. Many characteristics commonly associated with masculinity, such as competitiveness, ambition, courage and physical activity, can be highly positive and beneficial.

The goal is not to discourage these qualities, but to ensure men do not feel restricted by narrow definitions of masculinity. A healthy workplace culture allows employees to be ambitious and vulnerable, confident and compassionate, resilient and willing to ask for help.

The most effective wellbeing strategies recognise that there is no single way to be a man and no single approach to managing mental health.

What can HR and managers do?

Creating a more supportive environment for men does not require a separate wellbeing programme. Often, small cultural shifts can make a significant difference.

1. Encourage open conversations

Managers set the tone for workplace culture. When leaders openly acknowledge challenges, discuss wellbeing and normalise asking for support, others feel safer doing the same.

Simple questions such as “How are you really doing?” can create space for more honest conversations.

2. Focus on listening, not fixing

Many people instinctively jump into problem-solving mode when someone shares a difficulty. However, employees often need to feel heard before they need solutions.

Training managers in active listening and coaching skills can help create more supportive conversations and encourage employees to open up.

3. Review workplace culture

Take time to assess whether your organisation genuinely supports psychological safety. Do employees feel comfortable admitting mistakes? Can people discuss stress without fear of judgement? Are workloads and expectations realistic?

An environment where people feel they must constantly appear fine can prevent early intervention when support is most needed.

4. Offer a range of wellbeing options

Not every employee will engage with wellbeing in the same way. Some may benefit from counselling or coaching, while others may find stress relief through exercise, mindfulness, walking groups, hobbies or peer support.

Providing a variety of options helps ensure support feels accessible to different personalities and preferences.

Creating a culture where help-seeking is seen as strength

Perhaps the most important message for organisations is that asking for help should be viewed as a sign of courage, not weakness. Many men have spent years learning to suppress difficult emotions or manage challenges alone. Changing that culture takes time, patience and consistent leadership.

When workplaces actively encourage openness, compassion and authentic connection, they help create environments where men feel able to speak up earlier, access support sooner and build healthier relationships with both themselves and others.

The result is not only better mental health outcomes, but stronger teams, more engaged employees and a workplace culture where everyone can thrive.